It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
