He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I want to fling myself into the sun
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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