it's like her boobs came off with her bra
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
