I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
