went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
