I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize