the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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