my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
