Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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