Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize