I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she told me i tasted like america
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
