ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
