Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
