He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
