The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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