everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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