We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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