we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
