If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
