Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
