he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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