did you get engaged???
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
