Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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