Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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