I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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