its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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