I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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