i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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