THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
