do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
