Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we made out on top of his cat.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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