I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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