I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
