yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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