Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You smell like stripper and shame
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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