that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
