Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize