Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
