As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
