i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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