some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
