Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
