I got chris browned last night
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
