his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
