Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
