birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
