Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
