You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to calm my uterus...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
