this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
