So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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