please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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