Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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