i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
