also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
