I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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