The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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