I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
