Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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