she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
