Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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