I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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