super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
