This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
