I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
