She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
