yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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