It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
